twiistz:

i met a girl with 12 nipples
sounds funny
dozen tit

(via intimateaff3ction)

i’m gonna name my firstborn “arial”

and people will be like “oh like the mermaid”

and i’ll say “no like the font”

(via ooobmo)

thisisgenstumblr:

draconisblog:

tumbledore-:

The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.

At first I was all:

Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.

But then I was all like:

GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!

omg I just…my brain. WHY HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE?!?

(via intimateaff3ction)

i-cant-promise-that:

F- for being a shitty girlfriend. Good job me.

I feel ya

(via greatperhapser)

nonymoose:

assbutt-sherlocked-in-the-tardis:

OMG I’M LAUGHING SO HARD MY SISTER WAS WATCHING CHEAPER  BY THE DOZEN AND FUCKING JARED PADALECKI  WAS ON IT AND IN BETWEEN MY TEARS I SAW HIM MAKE THIS FACE

AND I LAUGHED EVEN HARDER BECAUSE I REALIZED HE’S MAKING THE SAME FACE AND GESTURES AS NINE

HANG ON I FIXED IT

(via intimateaff3ction)

when you press backspace a few times in hopes of deleting text and then tHE BROWSER GOES BACK LIKE 5 PAGES

(via ooobmo)